Days of Whine and Neurosis

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

3 Things I Won't Do in Business School

1. Wear blue button-down shirts. I like the way they look, and blue is one of my favorite colors, but they’re like slightly off-kilter Von Dutch hats in LA circa 2003, i.e., ubiquitous and played. I always feel like I’m headed to a Young Republicans meeting when I’m wearing one. I’m convinced that too much time in a blue shirt makes you clap on 1 & 3 when listening to music and drink white zinfandel.

2. Use stupid words like “synergy” or “mission-critical.” Buzz words, in my opinion, are little band-aids used to cover up people’s insecurities. Basically, when somebody isn’t quite sure that they know what their talking about, they reach into the buzz word bag and pull one out to make themself feel smarter. Remember how in that Communications class you took in college you had to memorize a bunch of definitions that were fancy, made-up words used to describe everyday ordinary events that happen when people, you know, talk to each other? Same thing.

Did I miss something in morning meeting, or are we suddenly on our way to the moon? No? Then don’t say “mission-critical” as plain old “important” will suffice.

Check this out for a buzz word laugh

3. Ever stop thinking that these posters are funny. Do yourself a favor and browse the entire collection.